Donatello´s nest

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How to Communicate with your emotions

Here Is how it goes.

Facts—>Feelings—>Values—->Vulnerabilities.

So most of the time, people only get into light rapport because they keep describing facts, things that have an existence in the material world. “Oh, I went shopping this morning”, “I just bought a new car!”, “Did you see that new TV show yesterday?” etc. If you talk like this all the time it can get boring quickly, also you have to keep looking for new facts all the time, and you need to find facts that interest whoever it is you are talking to.

To go a little deeper, you can start talking about how you FEEL about a particular fact. “Oh, I went shopping this morning, I really love looking at the clothes, so many different colors!”, “I just bought a new car! Driving it made me realize how important it is to work hard in my job so that I can pay it off.”, “Did you see that new TV show yesterday? I laughed so hard at the little girl with the penguin on her head.” As you can see, you always have some kind of feeling about anything, so you can always do this with any fact that you start off with. Keep in mind that people tend to think about feeling whatever emotion you are describing, so you should prefer describing positive emotions, like happiness, or arousal, etc.

The next level is values. WHY do you feel whatever it is that you feel? “Oh, I went shopping this morning, I really love looking at the clothes, so many different colors! It’s amazing to me how many different perspectives there are in the world. I would never have imagined some of the shapes that I saw, that’s why I love new experiences, because you always learn something new, sometimes things that you never imagined ever existed before, for example, I remember the first time I fell in love, it was soo …” and on and on. I leave the other two as exercises for you guys. Post your answers in the responses. By the time you get to the values level, this is deep stuff. People brush down to the feelings level every now and then, it is rare for anyone to ever get down to the values level. If you are able to take her down here and keep her here for a while, she will never forget you.

One of the reasons why she won’t forget you is that she probably doesn’t quite know what her values are. That’s normal, almost no one does. Women in general however tend to be particularly confused. This is because the society matrix has imposed many contradictory values upon her, so she doesn’t know which values are important or whether she should be following them at all.

In order to get to the values level however, you need to know your own values. This is something that cannot be taught. You have to find them for yourself. Your values are uniquely YOURS, they can and should be at least a little different from others. Your choice of values will determine how effective you are at living life. For example, if you value focusing on your task until you get it done, you will probably do well. If you value never doing anything you might screw up in, you probably won’t. She wants to find a source of certainty in her life. If you have a good set of values and you believe in them strongly, and you can project that faith into her, if you get her to believe in you, she will follow you. No amount of money, no amount of sex appeal, will turn her away from you.

More about the even more important level of vulnerabilities some other time ..

January 16, 2009 Posted by | Keeping the Conversation flowing | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Everything You Thought You Knew About Women Is Wrong

Original Writer Unknown, Possibly Comecuca.

Everything You Thought You Knew About Women Is Wrong – The Story Of A Man Living With Two Normal, Sexually Charged, Roommates.

The truth is that in today’s culture where women no longer have to remain buttoned up and are encouraged to be sexual, we still seem to hold true to our fear of a sexual woman. We call them Bitches when they don’t sleep with us, and Sluts when they do.

If you’re curious what “Anti Slut Defense” means, it’s a term used in the pickup community (where it sounds like this story originated from) to describe the tactics a woman will employ to prevent the man from thinking of her as a slut. For example, women will often say little things or drop hints in order to give them Plausible Deniability. As long as they can deny that they intended to do something (It just happened!), they are not Sluts. Great example of the need to think emotionally when dealing with women and less logically. What may come out of a woman’s mouth, won’t always mesh with what her body language is saying. It’s always wise to read between the lines.

With that said, here’s the story. I think I found the last line the funniest!

Week 1:

Alright. I have decided to live with 2 female roommates this year at school to help me understand women a bit better and have some fun while I am at it. As crazy and suicidal as this may sound, I am definitely down for it and look to learn a lot from this experience! A little history first..

As I grew up with my mom and she was the one who taught me about girls. READ: BAD ADVICE. As I have mentioned I have decided to live with these girls for one year and plan to post weekly on my discoveries. I am 21 and they are both 26. They are both graduate students and very professional. Without further ado, let the week 1 revelations begin!

Both of these girls are absolute hornballs. I had no idea girls were like this. Girl #1 constantly talks about sex. Sex starved is the only word I can use to describe her. She wants to go out and bring a guy home from the bars but her “Anti Slut Defense” kicks in and I think she has too much pride. She has talked to me about masturbating and using sex toys several times already. I have ran game on her, although I have made a commitment to not sleep with either roommate.

Roommate #2 is a dirty little tramp as well. She is hurting for a squirting as well. I have heard before that girls are just as horny as guys but never witnessed it before. It is truly shocking and has already made me look at girls differently. Men and women are not as different as one might think. I go to the bars with both of these girls and they honestly go HOPING to be seduced. They don’t act it, but they want to meet a guy to seduce them. I would never guess it if I did not know these girls. Makes me wonder how many other girls are like this.

Both girls are VERY self conscious about there appearance even though they are both attractive women. I am surprised once again. They spend inordinate amounts of time selecting outfits to wear to the bar. If they would just swallow there pride and go to the bar and act like they want sex as bad as they do, they would be laid in 2 minutes.

Both girls have a network of attractive female friends which I am in the process of gaming. I have established myself as alpha male early on, and they have no problem with me getting with there friends. Biggest problem so far is the age gap with me being younger, although I feel this is more of a mental thing I have created. No problems yet with their male friends, most are all chumps who are nice guys but the girls have no sexual interest in them.

Once again must reiterate that these girls are totally sex starved. They go to the bars and act like every other girl and dance and have fun, but pray they will find some alpha guy to bring home and f*ck. Only witnessed a few guys approach them so far. Nothing noteworthy, one gave her number out to a guy, never answered his calls or called back. He was stupid and left instantly after number closing.

Girl #1 was also on her period this week and was definitely additionally horny because of it.

First week summary has just mainly been that I am blown away by how sexual these girls are and how ass backwards there methods of trying to get laid are. They are trying to get laid while not trying to get laid. Its so f*cking silly lol.

Week 2:

First off, you may remember me talking about a chump who approached Slutty girl #1 at a bar and got her number because she was drunk… Well I have underestimated once again the crazy and slutty minds of girls. Lets start from the beginning of the week.. He called on day2 and left a message which both of my roommates laughed about and talked about his desperation and how she could do so much better. I thought it was curtains for him. I was wrong.

Something strange happened. After calling once, he didn’t call again. And every day without him calling her, her opinion of him swayed ever so slightly. By about day 3 she was talking about how “maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.” On day 4 he was suddenly cute. On day 5 my roommate wanted to f*ck him. I was baffled. I was literally f*cking baffled. Like most of you, I have never had an inside look on the workings of a phone number exchange. Well late on day 5, she finally called him and told him she wanted to see him again. So they set up a date for Thursday.

My roommate completely plans 100% to have sex with him. All he has to do is NOT SCREW UP! This absolutely blows my mind, as I am sure he has no clue that she constantly talks about wanting to hook up with him and wondering how big his dick is etc. It makes me wonder how many times I have been in a similar situation and completely unaware, and ended up blowing it.

Girls have there minds made up way before you think they do. This just reinforces your small window to make something happen, after that, JUST DON’T MESS UP! Girls want sex, they don’t want to feel slutty about it though. Don’t believe it if you want, but every single girl at that bar wants sex. Girls just need different things than guys to get them interested in sex.

They both take nasty shits though… that will take some getting used to…

January 16, 2009 Posted by | Inner Game, Introduction to the Game | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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