Donatello´s nest

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THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PLACE

By Adrian Millàs Luque

As Alfie says “When it comes to getting girls there are 3 things that matter: the place, the place, and the place”. Yes, you got me; today I’m going to talk about the places we frequent to get the women we want.
Most of us when getting started into this world of love and attraction, were referred to discos and pubs as a good place to hang around and find beautiful women, but have we ever stopped and thought about what is this place for? Dancing, drinking, and cocky talking are activities prior to sex, there is no wonder then that everybody in a disco is there seeking sex or a sexual fun time, whether it is to be seen by the opposite sex and feel attractive, or to find a partner to end the night with. There is a wide range of degrees.
The thing is that most of us are committed to become better at picking up girls (or women, depending on your age), right? Well, here is the deal: you are not going to get any better on picking up girls at a disco. Why? Because a disco is a place where there is already a sexual atmosphere. You don’t have to do anything at all to create it, and therefore, just approaching, talking, dancing, being a bit funny and having a bit of basic know-how to treat a girl, speeds up your chances of having an affair that night you went out. Anybody can get whatever they are looking for in a disco -speaking in sexual terms-, and if they don’t is because they are so focused on the outcome of their actions, and so self-centered, that they are missing half of the action by not looking on how the opposite sex responds to them. Or on the other hand, being so focused on the opposite sex that they don’t even realize of how they are acting.
Discos are good places to start picking up women (and to have a fun time whenever). You get there, and all your feelings are like crazy, the music is so loud, the girls are so, so sexy, everything seems so magical that you ask to yourself ‘why the f*** didn’t I come before? This is the answer to what I’ve been looking for!’
The thing is that after that point you need to evolve. You had been in your world of sexual inactivity ever since, then you got into a disco and it seemed like paradise. After that bit of shaking of your sexual world, you need to put your feet on the ground, and be real. Discos are places far from reality, places to have fun, and really recommendable to go (I love them), but if you want to really improve, and not only give a placebo to your ego because you went to a hotel with the Swedish girl you met in the VIP area, you need to explore further from that.
The places to go are: streets, beaches, coffee shops, libraries, college, work, your gym or health club, public transport, and many more. There you will find real interactions, where it is up to you to create that halo of magic and sex with women, and you must rely on the tools you have developed so far to succeed, or crash against the wall. That’s how it is guys! There is no way, but the hard way! Don’t be pussies thinking that you are real men if going out to discos and pubs you get chicks that went out there for the same! Common be more intelligent than that. If women made you believe they are out in the clubs for ‘having fun with their friends’ they messed up your brains.
Ask yourself these questions: are you able to start a conversation with any person in the bus? If not, work on it! Are you able to calibrate what is interesting (by interesting I mean creative, mysterious, sexual, fun) to talk about with the person you have right in front of you just in some seconds? If not, work on it! Are you able to make this person feel comfortable with you up to the point of creating a tie in some minutes so that this person wants to keep in touch with you in the future? If not, work on it! Are you able to keep that sensation on that person until you meet again? If not, work on it! That’s the kind of critical thinking that leads you to success. This is a golden rule to always think about: no shortcuts, no lies to yourself, be real, find your way, and work on it.
Remember then if you are in the good place to find what you are looking for, which level you are at, and which your next level is.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes: ‘Train hard, and expect success’ (Tom Venuto).
Until next time,
‘Work on it’.

April 29, 2011 Posted by | Inner Game | 1 Comment

The Direct Mind Set & 9 reasons why you should be this way!

Anyone who gets involved with direct should read these 9 inights…

I want to share the main realisations I’ve had about approaching girls Direct:-

1) Most girls are perfectly fine about you approaching them Direct. See, when I was in the ‘indirect community’, I believed being too forward or upfront would ‘freak girls out’ etc. I can tell you from my experience approaching girls Direct, almost every girl I approached Direct was flattered and overjoyed. Mostly, the girls melted, blushed, giggled and said a sincere ‘thankyou’.

So bah-ha to the indirect guys. Girls DO love to be approached Direct, and they’re not ‘freaked out’. They want a real man and are happy to be approached Direct because it happens so little to them (or never) in this day and age.

2) Not being upfront about your intentions leads to confusion and negativity for both you and the girl. Boy did I learn this the hard way! Lesson learned: always present the real you from the beginning, and tell the girl what type of relationship you’re looking for (casual fling, open relationship, momongamous relationship, etc).

3) Alan Roger Currie is correct when he says ‘do not back down for saying anything bold or sexually provocative to a girl’. I know this to be true because of a girl I met during the summer. I was totally Mode One with her and had an instant date, yet on our day 2 she was harshly critisizing me for only wanting casual sex with her. I didn’t back down, and we ended up parting ways. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I bumped into her again in her town….she was nice as pie to me and apologised for her behaviour on that day 2 and she was like ‘nice to see you’ and acting all star-struck and stuff. I didn’t persue her any further, because my interest in her had waned.

4) Being Direct with women leads to being Direct in all other areas of your life. Well, for me anyway. The whole Direct, no excuses attitude has rubbed off in the rest of my life, so I am more of a man for it.

5) Direct works in the daytime as well as at night in bars and clubs. The best opener I figured out (by trial and error) for bars and clubs is simply ‘Hi, you’re one of the best dressed girls in this whole club, I have to meet you’. (Or similar, and you have to sincerely mean it).

6) It’s almost as if girls are WAITING for a real man to come along and approach them Direct. But it happens so little or never to them. I’m convinced girls are hardwired to respond to a REAL MAN, who approaches her Direct. And when you do, she is so gobsmacked that she just melts and attraction is instant. By approaching Direct and being a real man, you trigger her natural attraction mechanism and she just cannot help but be attracted to you. This is what I believe to be true, and my experiences confirm it.

7) Arguing with indirect guys about why Direct is better is a waste of time. See, when I ‘converted’ to Direct, I got into a lot of arguments with members of this lair about the in effectiveness of indirect . But in the end I decided to stop posting about that and instead just focus on getting good at Direct so I can lead by example.

8 ) Trying to impress girls is futile. I’ve learned that it’s ok to simply be my real self around girls and I no longer feel I need to impress them or be something I’m not. This realisation really healed me and was a big burden off my shoulders.

9) Leading an interesting life makes you attractive and confident as well as gives you interesting things to talk about when you meet girls. You’re not ‘bragging’ to girls when you share your interesting life experiences, you are simply showing them that you are (authentically) an interesting guy who leads an interesting life – unlike the indirect guys who use fake DHVs.

These are the main things I’ve figured out about Direct, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised about how well it’s worked and how well girls have responded. However as I said earlier, I need to work on sealing the deal with the girls who respond well to my Direct approach (which is most of them).

January 4, 2011 Posted by | Inner Game | Leave a comment

Open your energies and give her space.

Ever been thrown off by an independent woman? Of course. You know how it feels.

Even after overcoming my neediness and valuing natural women instead of socially developed ones, I’d still feel thrown off around beautiful and independent socially distorted women. I had to listen to the way I feel for a long time to figure this one out.

So what is it you are feeling when there’s an independent woman around?

Every one of us has the power to shape our reality by the way we feel. These women throw the vibes of “all these needy guys want me” because that’s the life they’ve been conditioned to live.

When you are around her, you are part of her reality (and vice-versa) so you get affected by her vibes and you resist it, thus you become responsive to it, thus it affects how you feel and you lose your power.

How should you handle it then?

You ARE sharing a reality while being around her so there’s no point to resist it. Resisting it is what gives it power over you and builds up a wall between the two of you.

Accept being part of her reality of “all these needy guys want me” and keep your energies open. The walls between you and her go down and you share reality.

Here’s the cool part. Her energies are tighten up while your energies are relaxed and open. It will interact in some way. Open energies that feel good are MUCH stronger than closed energies, so she will be drawn into your reality.

She will be drawn into your reality and instantly become comfortable around you, without walls. Good vibes are contagious.

Accept her vibes and be vulnerable. The flexible will always dominate the rigid. Water will always shape valleys because it is flexible and unbreakable.

Try it out and let me know what happens!

December 30, 2010 Posted by | Inner Game | Leave a comment

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