Donatello´s nest

Wellcome To Donatello´s nest

keeping the conversation flowing.

As far as interactions go, Juggler says something powerful in this regard. You’re the sun shining on all those around you. You’re warm, friendly and giving. People bask in your light. If they appreciate it, great, if not, great, there will be other people who will.

I think it’s always best to start with reality. So, above I discussed one technique of how to make powerful impressions. You yourself said it’s important to treat yourself kindly. I think that’s crucial. In fact I’d say that’s probably the most important thing of all, because once you treat yourself with kindness, you will pretty much automatically treat everybody else the same way. Kindness is very powerful.

But how to bring across your kindness in a specific interaction?

I’ll walk you through specific steps as to how to connect with women and people in general through specific skills as taught by Charismaarts:

First off, your VIBE — your PRESENCE

Think of what would make YOU comfortable. How would somebody have to behave around you to make you comfortable. Do that. Watch other people who are good at this. Learn by observation.

BODY LANGUAGE: Stand up straight, arms by your sides. It feels very vulnerable and uncomfortable at first but vulnerability is the point. If you’re standing there with arms crossed or all fidgety you’ll probably make her feel defensive and fidgety. If you’re vulnerable that shows strength. Only confident people allow themselves to be vulnerable. This may seem counter intuitive but go with me here.

EYE CONTACT: Look her in the eye when you say something to her. Don’t stare, but confidently look at her, especially when you’re listening.

SMILE: However, don’t be weird PERMA GRIN GUY. When you listen to her, stop smiling, just have a face of quiet expectancy, and look at her. When you speak be expressive and smile. The idea is to be dynamic.

Okay now as to SPECIFIC CONVERSATION SKILLS:

MAKE IT PERSONAL — – I Statements and YOU questions

What’s an I-Statement?

A major part of the Juggler method lies in making people comfortable enough to allow them to share their unique qualities. An instructor I know says: “Everybody’s interesting. It’s my business to bring that out in them”.

I’ll give you three specific ways on how do to that: I-Statements, OEQs and The Vacuum:

I-Statements: The idea here is that you share who you are and this will make people comfortable sharing who they are.

These statements are as SPECIFIC as possible and genuine. You talk in a relatable way about what you truly care about. Example: “I love skiing. I skied almost every day growing up. I love the feel of the wind in my face and the rush of the speed”. Here’s another one. “I enjoy walking in the surf. I like the feel of the cold water on my bare feet, the heat of the sun on my back and the salty air in my nose. It relaxes me.”

In both these statements she gets a feel for what kind of a person you are.

Next: OEQ (Open ended questions):

In order to find out about her you ask her OEQs. These questions are as GENERIC as possible: “How, what, why?”

Examples:
What do you like about basket ball?
How did that feel?
What’s Paris like?
Why?

If you share with her who you are through I-Statements and ask her Open Ended Questions chances are you’ll get to something that truly excites you and that you can SOI her on. So, there it is.

Oops, one last ingredient: The famous “Vacuum”.

After you ask a big question there may be a tendency on your part to fill in the empty space as she thinks about an answer. Don’t. Look at her with quiet expectancy. Look into her eyes to possibly build sexual energy. The vacuum is powerful. If she balks, just ask her a smaller question. i.e. “What do you think of traveling?” “Oh, I don’t know”. “Well, what was the last place you traveled to?” However, do not go on “questions trains”, meaning don’t keep asking questions. If you don’t get anything just answer your own question and either vacuum to see what she might want to say next or ask another OEQ.

I hope this helps.

One last thing to keep in mind: Have the conversation be about 50-50. You do 50 percent of the talking and so does she.

In that post I also addressed as to how to get out of the “Friend Zone” and make it sexual by SOI’ing a girl.

April 24, 2009 Posted by | Keeping the Conversation flowing, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

%d bloggers like this: