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Learn to say ‘no’

By Adrian Millàs Luque from BCNLair

 


 

There is something I want to talk about today. It is a pain in the ass of every man at some point in their lives, and actually, when I mention that pain, the face (or faces) of some girl(s) are going to come through your mind. This pain is the kind of girl that you are really not interested in, but just because she shows some special interest in you, you feel kind of attracted to give her your time and attention. Seriously, what are we men thinking about when we waste our time with these kind of women?
I had a long experience in the past with this, and so I want to expose the stone that made me fall again and again along the way: not being brave enough to accept that I had to keep looking around for that special woman I liked, and be lonely in the making, and take advantage of the time that I have for myself. Luckily enough, I met a girl who was the last drop that filled up my glass full of shit. Really, this girl would be an average beautiful girl, and she was boring to death, which took away all the attraction she could ever have. My mind-set on that girl was the same as with other girls like her in the past: I can practice with her to become a better man. Hang around with her, have some kind of fun, and make love.
One day after some weeks after meeting her, I said to myself: hey, what do you want from this girl? The answer was a silence in my mind, followed by a thought. I was simply trying to avoid seeing the truth. I only had one girl that I really liked in my life – because she is so sweet and sexy, and we have crazy times doing all sorts of things together – and as I felt that I needed more great women like her around me, I tried to keep in touch unconditionally with the other women I was kind of flirting with.
Sometimes it is easy to have a daily life full of beautiful acquaintances, but sometimes is simply not that easy, mostly because the places that you frequent do not have the vibe that attract those women you desire. You must use this time in which a woman you could really like is not in your life to do other useful things. Do not get obsessed about women, you must not haunt women. Love is attraction, and attraction is like a magnet, both part of the magnet come together, not one of them chasing the other.
In the event that you give your time to a woman who does not really attract you (and here is the big deal of this essay buddies), you do not let attraction appear, and so forth you are going to suck at doing anything with her. If you are not attracted, you are not going to use your sharpest humor. If you do not really desire that woman, then move on, and keep looking around you. If you look to her eyes and yours stay steady in hers for a considerable amount of time, if you don’t find her cheeks cute when she smiles, if you don’t melt with her laugh and sweet way of being, then simply she is not your kind of woman, and therefore, you must forget flirting with her and losing your time and her time.
It is kind of reciprocal, the fact that you are not really attracted to her and that she is kind of making you waste your time. Buddies its time for you to notice that women see through you (like your moms do, so to speak), think about it: would you be interested to have a romance or even a one-night stand with a really hot and sweet girl who does not really like you? If you have some kind of moral and self-esteem, then the answer is ‘no’.
I only flirt with women that show passion for life and happiness. I only kiss women that I like. I only make love to those that show me that we share something especial. And all of that I do, because it must not be in another way. Attraction is built on honesty about your feelings and wishes. You must start being honest with what you really want right now. Dream big about the kind of women that you want around you. Visualize these harmonious and loving tender feminine figures as you close your eyes, feel them in your head, feel your heart beat rhythm when you approach one of them, breathe deeply, and say the very first thing that comes out of your lips. Let the power of attraction be unleashed.

 

February 25, 2011 Posted by | Attraction, Flirting | , , , | 4 Comments

Flirting Tips.

We cant stop we wont stop.

Persistence can go a long way. When a woman rejects your initial advance it does not generally mean that you can not pick her up, in most cases it simply means that she will not let you have her that easily. To handle situations like this you can use the two minute rule : When you approach a girl you should always spit game to her for a FULL two minutes before walking away and accepting the fact that she is simply not interested… regardless of what she says during those two minutes. You will be surprised by how many women will start warming up to you within two minutes… and by using this technique you will end up with a much higher success rate than you would if you were to just accept defeat right away.

Let me get that for you.

Here is a great kino tip… for those that don’t know, simply put kino means the art of flirting by touch, for more in-depth information on kino do a search on it at this site and you’ll find a few good articles. On with the tip : Whenever you are with a girl and her hair is falling in her face, gently use your index finger to “pull” the hair back and place it behind her ear. When you do this rub your finger down behind her ear all the way down to her ear lobe. Girls respond very well to this and it seems to have a comforting/soothing effect on them… they love it. You can do this as often as you like and once a particular girl becomes accustomed to you doing it to them they will even look forward to you doing it. As an added bonus you can say something nice to them or give them a good compliment while you do it, which will magnify the effect.

isolation

When you are approaching a group of girls and you’ve already picked out the one that you want, the only thing that should be running through your mind is “I need to get her ALONE!”. Yes, that it your first and foremost goal… to separate her from her friends. When I say alone I do not mean back at your place doing the nasty, save that for later. I mean you need to get her off to the side with you, away from her friends so that you can have a one on one conversation without anyone else around to ruin your game. Doing this also allows her to open up more and flirt with you the way that she really wants to, around her friend she will be more reserved because of the fear of them thinking that she is being slutty. Now before you even begin to isolate the girl, you first need to know that she will allow you to break her off from her group… and you do this by talking to the entire group while watching for signs of attraction from each of them. If you are not getting signals from your target girl that shows she is interested, but are getting them from one or two other girls in the group… you will either need to switch your target or forget about the approach. This is because girls tend to be very faithful to their friends when they are together, even though they are not very faithful to them when they aren’t around. So if your initial target notices that one of her friends is feeling you right away, she may back down. This can not be said for all girls however, sometimes the group will go into competition mode in which they all compete for your attention… which is good. This is exactly why you first need to look for signs of attraction by talking to the entire group at first, because these type of situations can go down many different ways… and you have to be able to adapt on the spot if you want to successfully get one of them away from their friends. Once you know exactly which girl you are going to isolate, you can begin to focus your attention on her. At first begin to make eye contact with her while you are still asking questions to the entire group, then begin to ask questions directly to her… and when you feel the time is right, make the move. Say something to your target like “I want to show you something”, after she says ok ask the other girls in the group “Can I borrow your friend for a second… I promise I’ll bring her back”. They will agree because if they do not the girl that you are trying to separate will feel as if she is being controlled by her friends which will embarrass her in front of you… in which case she will go with you anyway in an attempt to show you that her friends can not boss her around, so either way it works in your favor. Once you’ve got her off to the side spit game to her like a champ and get the digits, this is the easy part.

Your Ok but your friend is better.

If you notice a girl that you like but she is with one of her friends, try this approach. My favorite way to do this is to talk to the “uglier” friend first in order to make the hot one jealous… because if you talk to the hot one directly the other might like you too and get jealous… then she will do just about anything to ruin your chances with her friend – not good! Go up to the ugly one and say something like “I really like your (insert something : pants, shirt, hair… anything) then after she says thanks quickly move on to the hot one and give her a compliment also… then keep talking to BOTH of them for a while, but gradually focusing more on the hot one, until the point comes when you are only talking to her… then end the conversation by getting her number and setting up a date.

On the rebound.

Whenever a girl that you are talking to brings up the subject of her ex-boyfriend, you’ve got to immediately change the subject every time she does… the last thing you want is for her to think you are a “shoulder to cry on”. If you learn that she had just recently gotten out of a long-term relationship it’s kind of a sticky situation… you can most likely get her to want you in terms of sex/messing around… but after a relationship that lasted that long its too soon to pressure her into a relationship, it could possibly scare her off. The best thing might be to first get her in a playful mood or at least happy (and most importantly not thinking about her ex and realizing how much fun she is having without him) then explain to her that you want her to be your girl but you don’t want to rush anything… tell her that you’ll move at her pace and if she wants you to back off a little and slow down all she has to do is say so and you will… then tell her that you don’t like playing games and if she wants to be your girl she going to have to tell you.

It was an accident I swear.

Here is a good one I used a few times back in school… but it’ll require some balls on your part. What you do is bump into her in the hallway and make sure you knock her books down (if she doesn’t normally carry them then carry yours and when you bump her drop them) then when you both bend down to pick them up say something like “Wow, I’ve seen you in the hall a few times and thought you were kind of cute, but from up close your gorgeous” then tell her you want to chill with her after school and say “is there a number I can reach you at?” Make sure you ask for her number like that because it works 100 times better than “can i have your number”, and you don’t have to use that same compliment, you can use anything that you really like about her… if she is the type of girl that likes to dress impressive or look like she cares a lot about what clothes she wears (most are) then that might be the way to go… girls like that dress nice because they are hoping someone will notice and say something… you’ll make her day if you tell her that her shirt/jeans look cool and she will like you a lot more because you noticed.

You are the man.

Act like your the king of the world. Be rude, but not enough to offend. Make yourself appear dominant in everything that you do… even if your not good at it! Tom Cruise can’t really kick anyone’s ass, but he sure looks like he can in his flicks, right? It’s all about the illusion, people would rather see something that looks good than something that works better, master the illusion and you’ll master the girls. Let them think you’ve got money even if you don’t. Make them think you get all of the girls even if you’ve never been laid before. This is very easy to do, be creative… you can take this as far as you want to go with it!

Just do it…do it….do it.

Never ask a girl if you can kiss her! Just do it. This is one of those situations where females like to see a man that can take control and do what he wants, so show her that you’ve got the balls and just do it. If you ask her for permission in advance she’ll think that your scared to be a man, and even if she still lets you kiss her… she’ll think less of you afterward.

Lets go back to school.

Tease those girls, they like it! Remember back in 2nd grade when girls had “cooties” and you’d tease them, fight with them, and pick on them? Sure you do! It’s time to go back to 2nd grade people, because women still respond positively to this. Teasing them lets them know that you are playful and could care less what they (or anyone) think about you. Women love care-free men that do what they want… and I know that you want to pick on them sometimes. Why? Because it’s fun… and girls just wanna have fun, and they want a guy that they know they can have fun with. BE THAT GUY and you’ll get more girls.

Just touch her already you will probably like it

KINO KINO KINO! Touch those girls man! Touching is the most important part of flirting. Want to let a girl know that you like her? Touch her! Want to make a girl like you more? Touch her! Want to let a girl know that your not scared to touch her? Ok, you get my drift. Simply touch her hand or wrist, maybe even her arm and you will do all of the above. This is easy to do, it just takes some balls… so go out and a limb and touch hers 🙂

And they say we think about it all day long.

Woman constantly talk abound finding their soul mate, knight in shining around, price charming, etc. DON’T fall for this! This may be true that they all want these things deep down… but on the surface they are just as horny as we are! With that in mind, save the romantic relationship-based stuff for afterwards, the REAL way to a woman’s heart is through her pants. Get her turned on and show her who’s “the man” in bed, then she will fall in love with you

Surprise but it aint your birthday.

This is one of my favorite tricks to use in order to get that “first kiss” without all of the anticipation and awkwardness. Simply do the following, but make sure she has warmed up to you first, or she may get pissed: Ask her if she likes surprises, if she says yes… kiss her. If she says no, kiss her anyway, and then say “My bad, I forgot you didn’t like surprises”. This seems to work extremely well for me, and it’s an easy, yet creative method to use..

This one is just dirty.

Tease her with attention. While you are macking on a particular girl, go away after you’ve talked for a while and begin talking to someone else. Try to make it a male friend you go talk to, or she will think your a player… (let’s make that OUR secret, ok?). This will drive her crazy, and if you’ve made a decent impression on her, she won’t be able to think of anything except you… and when your going to come back. Some of the bolder females out there may even come and butt into your new conversation. However, if she does not, go back after a short period of time and you will find her most happy that you did.

Tickle Tickle tickle

Once you think she feels comfortable around you, and if it would be appropriate given the current situation, ask her if she is ticklish. If she answers yes or maybe, proceed with the tickling. If she answers no, say “I think your lying” and proceed with the tickling. From my observations, I would say that eight out of ten girls are ticklish. Plus, if she really likes you and is truly not ticklish, she will fake it anyway. Tickling is a very good trick to use because it involves touching, and you should touch her whenever possible. I can’t really explain it, but for some reason women respond very well to the touch, as long as it’s delivered in a respectful manner (no ass or boob grabbing people).

The seductive smile.

Upon making eye contact with a woman that you are interested in, always smile. I’m not talking about one of those huge “say cheese” smiles, rather a smirk (maybe a little bit more than a smirk) that says “I’m happy you’ve looked at me”. Once smiling, hold the gaze for 1-2 seconds, then look away. After looking away, try to get her to make eye contact with you again, if this happens go over and talk to her, because her second look was your invitation.

Do this but watch out for a cat fight.

While you are talking to a group of girls, always remember to flirt with ALL of them, even the ones that you don’t find attractive. This will put them into “competitive mode”, in which all of the women will begin to try to win your affection because of your display of interest in each of them. Once this is accomplished you will be able to have your pick out of any of them, because the woman you choose will feel like she is the “winner”. Every girl wishes to feel like she is the best looking in her group, and if you help her achieve this goal, you will become her player in shining armor 🙂







November 9, 2008 Posted by | Flirting | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Flirting vs. True Attraction

iStockPhoto.comFlirting vs. True Attraction

When men and women spend a lot of time around one another, flirting becomes a means of communication and entertainment that can make everyday interactions more fun and exciting. Just like other interpersonal activities, though, each person flirts and accepts flirtation differently. While some people flirt constantly, others reserve this affectionate type of interaction for expressing genuine feelings that extend beyond friendship.

Either way, it can sometimes seem impossible to differentiate between flirting vs. true attraction. If there are true feelings behind the flirting, it’s important to be able to recognize them in order to avoid any awkward or destructive situations. Sometimes a flicker of the eye or a brush on the arm can reveal volumes about the underlying relationship. Read on for tips on how to read her flirtatious activities and figure out if her interest extends beyond playfulness.

Level of attention

Flirtation that’s just flirtation will tend to be flippant and fun. Friends who don’t harbor a real attraction for one another will play, and then move on to the next thing. They have nothing invested because there are no feelings involved. If a gesture or a touch is prolonged, however, it could mean that she’s trying to get your attention to push things farther than the status quo. When flirtation is exaggerated like this, it could also mean she’s enjoying it so much that she doesn’t want to let you slip away, which is also an indication that there’s something else behind it. There is a fine defining line between these two levels of play, and people tend to differ on what they expect of flirtation, but you’ll likely notice if somebody gives you this extra bit of attention.

Exclusivity

Some women are just flirty. If she’s scooting around giving everybody in the vicinity a wink and a nudge, there’s likely nothing special in the look she throws your way. In other words, if she uses casual flirting vs. true affection, there’s probably nothing more behind it. If, on the other hand, she pays special attention to you, there’s a good chance you’ve been singled out for a reason. If it’s not in her nature to flirt with just anybody, she may be trying to communicate how she really feels about you. Used this way, flirtation is a way to feel you out before putting herself on the line.

Intensity

The key to friendly flirtation is lightheartedness and subtlety. Two people who flirt often will likely have a rhythm to their interactions; it’s like a routine. This type of play has underlying and unsaid boundaries that maintain a friendly feel. If her flirting suddenly becomes more intense, however, it could indicate deeper feelings.

For example, during your regular banter about relationships, she might start singling you out as the ideal man. Or she might start surpassing your regular physical boundaries by putting her hand on your leg or your hand when she’s sitting beside you. If her actions become more serious or obvious, you may have an admirer on your hands. This is a good way to tell if she’s flirting vs. true attraction.

Eye contact

Eye language is a very important indicator of the feelings between two individuals; it’s a great way to tell the difference between flirting vs. true affection. Think of how you interact with your friends, male or female. Most of the time, eye contact is made during face-to-face conversation, but it is casual and frequently broken over the course of the exchange. If she makes prolonged and sustained eye contact, on the other hand, it could mean that something beyond friendship is afoot. Another indicator is if she mirrors your Body Language while you talk, extending the sense of closeness you both feel.

These types of actions — whether they’re performed consciously or not — could mean that she’s trying to catch your eye in a romantic sense. She’s probably hoping you’ll notice her as something More than a fun friend.

Duration

Flirtation is something that’s fun and entertaining, but if it isn’t serious, it usually passes with time. Because there are no true feelings wrapped up in the friendly sort of flirting, a “love’ em and leave ’em” rule tends to govern these actions. If, on the other hand, the two of you have been flirting consistently for an extended period of time and it’s not waning, it’s possible that there are deeper feelings behind it.

Think back on how your relationship has evolved. Is she still seeking you out after you’ve moved to new flirting grounds? If so, it’s likely that she’s trying to linger in this type of activity until she can get her real feelings of attraction across. Not only can this indicate existing feelings of interest, but prolonged flirtation with a single person can also lead to them, so tread carefully in both instances.

Intimacy

Flirting involves a broad range of activities, from conversation and mockery to gestures and touch. These actions can either be playful or extend to a more personal level. If flirtation began at — or has progressed to — a more intimate level than most friendships, you can take a hint that there’s probably more to it.

For instance, conversation between friends can get flirty, but if she tells you personal things or asks you questions that reach a more emotional level, she’s probing beyond the scope of friendship, and it’s likely that she’s interested in pursuing a relationship. This is a good test of whether she’s flirting vs. true attraction. Likewise, if you go beyond an arm brush to holding hands or hugging, you have reached the next emotional level, which can indicate interest beyond friendship alone.

November 6, 2008 Posted by | Attraction, Flirting | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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