By Adrian Millàs Luque
As Alfie says “When it comes to getting girls there are 3 things that matter: the place, the place, and the place”. Yes, you got me; today I’m going to talk about the places we frequent to get the women we want.
Most of us when getting started into this world of love and attraction, were referred to discos and pubs as a good place to hang around and find beautiful women, but have we ever stopped and thought about what is this place for? Dancing, drinking, and cocky talking are activities prior to sex, there is no wonder then that everybody in a disco is there seeking sex or a sexual fun time, whether it is to be seen by the opposite sex and feel attractive, or to find a partner to end the night with. There is a wide range of degrees.
The thing is that most of us are committed to become better at picking up girls (or women, depending on your age), right? Well, here is the deal: you are not going to get any better on picking up girls at a disco. Why? Because a disco is a place where there is already a sexual atmosphere. You don’t have to do anything at all to create it, and therefore, just approaching, talking, dancing, being a bit funny and having a bit of basic know-how to treat a girl, speeds up your chances of having an affair that night you went out. Anybody can get whatever they are looking for in a disco -speaking in sexual terms-, and if they don’t is because they are so focused on the outcome of their actions, and so self-centered, that they are missing half of the action by not looking on how the opposite sex responds to them. Or on the other hand, being so focused on the opposite sex that they don’t even realize of how they are acting.
Discos are good places to start picking up women (and to have a fun time whenever). You get there, and all your feelings are like crazy, the music is so loud, the girls are so, so sexy, everything seems so magical that you ask to yourself ‘why the f*** didn’t I come before? This is the answer to what I’ve been looking for!’
The thing is that after that point you need to evolve. You had been in your world of sexual inactivity ever since, then you got into a disco and it seemed like paradise. After that bit of shaking of your sexual world, you need to put your feet on the ground, and be real. Discos are places far from reality, places to have fun, and really recommendable to go (I love them), but if you want to really improve, and not only give a placebo to your ego because you went to a hotel with the Swedish girl you met in the VIP area, you need to explore further from that.
The places to go are: streets, beaches, coffee shops, libraries, college, work, your gym or health club, public transport, and many more. There you will find real interactions, where it is up to you to create that halo of magic and sex with women, and you must rely on the tools you have developed so far to succeed, or crash against the wall. That’s how it is guys! There is no way, but the hard way! Don’t be pussies thinking that you are real men if going out to discos and pubs you get chicks that went out there for the same! Common be more intelligent than that. If women made you believe they are out in the clubs for ‘having fun with their friends’ they messed up your brains.
Ask yourself these questions: are you able to start a conversation with any person in the bus? If not, work on it! Are you able to calibrate what is interesting (by interesting I mean creative, mysterious, sexual, fun) to talk about with the person you have right in front of you just in some seconds? If not, work on it! Are you able to make this person feel comfortable with you up to the point of creating a tie in some minutes so that this person wants to keep in touch with you in the future? If not, work on it! Are you able to keep that sensation on that person until you meet again? If not, work on it! That’s the kind of critical thinking that leads you to success. This is a golden rule to always think about: no shortcuts, no lies to yourself, be real, find your way, and work on it.
Remember then if you are in the good place to find what you are looking for, which level you are at, and which your next level is.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes: ‘Train hard, and expect success’ (Tom Venuto).
Until next time,
‘Work on it’.
Most of us go through life on auto pilot, rarely ever pausing to think, and the only time we ever get out of second gear is when we meet that special someone. That’s when we realize the power of love/lust/attraction. I am living proof. I was in love with this girl (the only real love of my life), and we never ‘did it’. We just ‘made out’, held hands, gazed into each others eyes, lovey dovey stuff basically. The experience was one of the most intense experiences of my life. I now realize why.
I understand the importance of having a muse now. It could be anyone, an actress, model, girl I saw on the train etc. The important thing is to keep that brain vibrating with energy, and there is none more positive or aggressive than sex energy!
Stay Hungry. I was thinking the exact same thing myself. Two simple words, with profound meaning.
What a shame that it took me so long to realize that the energy that one experiences through that particular emotion is so versatile (energy usually always is) that it can be channeled into anything and everything.
You’ve got it! Mostly the most creative times of a relationship are in the flirtation, courtship stage when all your thoughts are corralled to one aim: being with that girl, looking at her, touching her, sharing with her, and bedding her.
If circumstances limit your physicality, the desire to ‘be together’ gets creative and finds other avenues for deepening your experiences together. She seeps into your heart and soul, you feel yourself buzzing with passionate energy, she becomes ever more desirable in your eyes. Your bioelectric energy body is lit up like a Christmas tree.
If you can stay with it, and recognize it, this is a blissful place to be: fully alive, in an exquisite agony of wanting even more!
We habitually train ourselves to get rid of desires as quickly as possible. Of course, we don’t look at it like that. We think instead of getting what we want as quickly as possible. But ‘the wanting’ is where the pulse of life is felt most keenly. Feeling that desire, and living with it, prises open your consciousness so you feel more alive!
Yes, life is the muse. She’ll pass you on the street like the sophisticated, oh-so-beautiful glossy blonde who stepped out on the limosine and glided past me on the street one boiling sultry day in Charleston, South Carolina, accompanied by her equally gorgeous, Amazonian, African-American friend… Or on an almost-deserted beach in Knockke-Heist, Belgium, ‘the most beautiful girl in the world’, dark long hair and in a bikini skips to the shoreline with her puppy and smiles at me… and is forever burned into my consciousness and memory. Or the rather plain looking mother holding her baby going past me on a high street on the Isle of Wight, England, looking me direct in the eyes and smiling a billion-dollar sweet smile. Or the tousled, damp-from-the-rain haired girl standing in my garage in her green eyes flashing with mischief, love and longing… Each of these… just a moment in time, but a moment in eternity as far as the spirit is concerned.
Stay hungry and your eyes will pick up the muse’s signs, signals, smiles and winks.
I’m in UK at present, where today it’s cool, damp and breezy. Heading back to Spain next week for some sun and fun.
Yes, you could say the essential message is ‘stay horny’. Arnold Schwarzenegger put it another way in the movie ‘Pumping Iron’ when he revealed his philosophy as being, ‘stay hungry’.
Both messages entail the idea of ‘keeping your edge’, not letting yourself become totally sated, keeping in that going-for-it state that is similar in would-be-lovers, entrepreneurs trying to build their fledgling business, or athletes going for gold medals.
Time and again, you read interviews with successful people and they’ll say that their happiest time was not when they had achieved the great success, but when they were on the journey towards it.
It’s the same with sex. Beforehand your whole body and mind is straining to get into the pants of the girl you’re chasing after. She looks so good. Nothing else really matters but being with her, and getting it on with her. You are keyed up and straining on the leash. She looks so damn gorgeous that you just gotta have her…
Fast forward to 1 minute after sexual ejaculation… and, ‘ugh, she ain’t that great looking!’ It’s almost like the madness leaves you, and you are no longer possesed by the lust. On one hand it’s quite a good state because you have some clarity and self-possession again. But on another level you are just tired and sleepy and not that bothered about anything anymore (except maybe eating or sleeping or getting the hell out of there!).
The idea is that sexual energy keeps you keen and interested in life. It helps spur you on to greater achievements so that you rise up to a greater sexual status in the human pack.
In modern times, we have access to 24/7 porn, we’re much more liberal about sexuality and masturbation, there is more casual recreational sex — all of which makes it a lot easier to get laid or to get off. This can all lead to a slackening off in personal ambition or creativity. You just don’t have to work so hard for ‘it’.
Of course, some guys have attributes and advantages that propel them higher in sexual status than other guys who have achieved a lot materially or creatively. If they are very attractive, charismatic or fulfil some kind of ‘bad boy’ role, they get laid easier than others. They might suffer in other ways by not getting sufficiently motivated to exercise their deeper creativity to manifest prosperity and wealth.
Regarding #3 of my article (get yourself a muse), I acknowledge your reservations. One way to incorporate this concept without getting tied up and tied down with any one particular woman is to make the muse the ‘idea of woman’, or what I call the Universal Woman.
I noticed when reflecting back on the various women that I had dated and mated as a younger man, that there was a kind of common theme running through them all… and I started referring to this as the Goddess or Universal Woman. This is a kind of ‘spiritualization’ … another kind of transmutation, if you like, in which I inwardly chose to believe that I was not in relationship with individual women (and all the individual concerns and hang-ups) but with an archetypal soul mate, the Goddess… or just God, manifest as woman.
Where muses are generally concerned, it is often the case that one can never have that woman (either because she is out of your league, of another class, or a movie star or something like that). That sense of separation enables you to idolize the woman, to make her perfect in your mind, and worship her from afar. This drives creativity in a very similar way that religious devotion drives creativity — as a dedication to the Beloved.
Many men find their ideals dashed when they do get close with their ideal woman and discover that she is an appalling liar, farts in her sleep, or whines non-stop. Others can develop a relationship and allow their own minds to lovingly overlook the faults of their partner, while putting aspects of her appearance, character or behavior on a pedestal to be worshipped in some way. this would be the case with say, someone like Paul McCartney writing a love song about his wife.
|A note: Idealizing any woman while perhaps good for creativity can put unnecessary pressure on a relationship. Being feted and put on a pedestal is certainly nice on occasions, but most women will settle for respect and a good ear. Few people like the pressue of having to live up to images of perfection because we all know how transient and illusory those are in the physical world. Part of being truly creative is learning to love and accept people for what they are, seeing beauty and perfection in imperfection. In this spirit, love can truly blossom. And nothing is more creative than that.|
Having a ‘player’ lifestyle is a wonderful opportunity to use your creativity and funnel your sexuality into using more and more of your mind. Many of the seduction ‘gurus’ demonstrate this very well, developing sophisticated ways to use language to elicit the deepest responses of a woman and give her ‘the time of her life’ with mind-blowing sexual, romantic experiences. They also manage to rise above their sexuality, perhaps because of the transient nature of their relationships with women, to funnel their energies into developing successful businesses (like Eben Pagan, Mystery, Ross Jeffries) and teaching systems that help and benefit others.
I think it’s wonderful that you have released the negative judgements you were holding in your mind (thinking that you had a weakness) and that you have reframed it as your greatest strength. May men would love your life style but they don’t have your skills, courage or abilities to achieve it. You have become a ‘master’ in this area and can turn that mastery to your advantage in others.
All creativity is an act of self-determination, reframing the raw materials of life into what you decide to make of it. You are the creator, the creative force, and sexual energy is the fiery manifestation of that creative force.
- THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PLACE
- Sexual Transmutation experiences
- More on Sexual transmutation
- SEXUAL TRANSMUTATION
- Sexual transmutation an introduction
- So what is Sexual transmutation?
- Learn to say ‘no’
- The Direct Mind Set & 9 reasons why you should be this way!
- You do not have to follow a system or method
- Open your energies and give her space.