Learn to say ‘no’

By Adrian Millàs Luque from BCNLair

 

 

There is something I want to talk about today. It is a pain in the ass of every man at some point in their lives, and actually, when I mention that pain, the face (or faces) of some girl(s) are going to come through your mind. This pain is the kind of girl that you are really not interested in, but just because she shows some special interest in you, you feel kind of attracted to give her your time and attention. Seriously, what are we men thinking about when we waste our time with these kind of women?
I had a long experience in the past with this, and so I want to expose the stone that made me fall again and again along the way: not being brave enough to accept that I had to keep looking around for that special woman I liked, and be lonely in the making, and take advantage of the time that I have for myself. Luckily enough, I met a girl who was the last drop that filled up my glass full of shit. Really, this girl would be an average beautiful girl, and she was boring to death, which took away all the attraction she could ever have. My mind-set on that girl was the same as with other girls like her in the past: I can practice with her to become a better man. Hang around with her, have some kind of fun, and make love.
One day after some weeks after meeting her, I said to myself: hey, what do you want from this girl? The answer was a silence in my mind, followed by a thought. I was simply trying to avoid seeing the truth. I only had one girl that I really liked in my life – because she is so sweet and sexy, and we have crazy times doing all sorts of things together – and as I felt that I needed more great women like her around me, I tried to keep in touch unconditionally with the other women I was kind of flirting with.
Sometimes it is easy to have a daily life full of beautiful acquaintances, but sometimes is simply not that easy, mostly because the places that you frequent do not have the vibe that attract those women you desire. You must use this time in which a woman you could really like is not in your life to do other useful things. Do not get obsessed about women, you must not haunt women. Love is attraction, and attraction is like a magnet, both part of the magnet come together, not one of them chasing the other.
In the event that you give your time to a woman who does not really attract you (and here is the big deal of this essay buddies), you do not let attraction appear, and so forth you are going to suck at doing anything with her. If you are not attracted, you are not going to use your sharpest humor. If you do not really desire that woman, then move on, and keep looking around you. If you look to her eyes and yours stay steady in hers for a considerable amount of time, if you don’t find her cheeks cute when she smiles, if you don’t melt with her laugh and sweet way of being, then simply she is not your kind of woman, and therefore, you must forget flirting with her and losing your time and her time.
It is kind of reciprocal, the fact that you are not really attracted to her and that she is kind of making you waste your time. Buddies its time for you to notice that women see through you (like your moms do, so to speak), think about it: would you be interested to have a romance or even a one-night stand with a really hot and sweet girl who does not really like you? If you have some kind of moral and self-esteem, then the answer is ‘no’.
I only flirt with women that show passion for life and happiness. I only kiss women that I like. I only make love to those that show me that we share something especial. And all of that I do, because it must not be in another way. Attraction is built on honesty about your feelings and wishes. You must start being honest with what you really want right now. Dream big about the kind of women that you want around you. Visualize these harmonious and loving tender feminine figures as you close your eyes, feel them in your head, feel your heart beat rhythm when you approach one of them, breathe deeply, and say the very first thing that comes out of your lips. Let the power of attraction be unleashed.