Donatello´s nest

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THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PLACE

By Adrian Millàs Luque

As Alfie says “When it comes to getting girls there are 3 things that matter: the place, the place, and the place”. Yes, you got me; today I’m going to talk about the places we frequent to get the women we want.
Most of us when getting started into this world of love and attraction, were referred to discos and pubs as a good place to hang around and find beautiful women, but have we ever stopped and thought about what is this place for? Dancing, drinking, and cocky talking are activities prior to sex, there is no wonder then that everybody in a disco is there seeking sex or a sexual fun time, whether it is to be seen by the opposite sex and feel attractive, or to find a partner to end the night with. There is a wide range of degrees.
The thing is that most of us are committed to become better at picking up girls (or women, depending on your age), right? Well, here is the deal: you are not going to get any better on picking up girls at a disco. Why? Because a disco is a place where there is already a sexual atmosphere. You don’t have to do anything at all to create it, and therefore, just approaching, talking, dancing, being a bit funny and having a bit of basic know-how to treat a girl, speeds up your chances of having an affair that night you went out. Anybody can get whatever they are looking for in a disco -speaking in sexual terms-, and if they don’t is because they are so focused on the outcome of their actions, and so self-centered, that they are missing half of the action by not looking on how the opposite sex responds to them. Or on the other hand, being so focused on the opposite sex that they don’t even realize of how they are acting.
Discos are good places to start picking up women (and to have a fun time whenever). You get there, and all your feelings are like crazy, the music is so loud, the girls are so, so sexy, everything seems so magical that you ask to yourself ‘why the f*** didn’t I come before? This is the answer to what I’ve been looking for!’
The thing is that after that point you need to evolve. You had been in your world of sexual inactivity ever since, then you got into a disco and it seemed like paradise. After that bit of shaking of your sexual world, you need to put your feet on the ground, and be real. Discos are places far from reality, places to have fun, and really recommendable to go (I love them), but if you want to really improve, and not only give a placebo to your ego because you went to a hotel with the Swedish girl you met in the VIP area, you need to explore further from that.
The places to go are: streets, beaches, coffee shops, libraries, college, work, your gym or health club, public transport, and many more. There you will find real interactions, where it is up to you to create that halo of magic and sex with women, and you must rely on the tools you have developed so far to succeed, or crash against the wall. That’s how it is guys! There is no way, but the hard way! Don’t be pussies thinking that you are real men if going out to discos and pubs you get chicks that went out there for the same! Common be more intelligent than that. If women made you believe they are out in the clubs for ‘having fun with their friends’ they messed up your brains.
Ask yourself these questions: are you able to start a conversation with any person in the bus? If not, work on it! Are you able to calibrate what is interesting (by interesting I mean creative, mysterious, sexual, fun) to talk about with the person you have right in front of you just in some seconds? If not, work on it! Are you able to make this person feel comfortable with you up to the point of creating a tie in some minutes so that this person wants to keep in touch with you in the future? If not, work on it! Are you able to keep that sensation on that person until you meet again? If not, work on it! That’s the kind of critical thinking that leads you to success. This is a golden rule to always think about: no shortcuts, no lies to yourself, be real, find your way, and work on it.
Remember then if you are in the good place to find what you are looking for, which level you are at, and which your next level is.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes: ‘Train hard, and expect success’ (Tom Venuto).
Until next time,
‘Work on it’.

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April 29, 2011 Posted by | Inner Game | 1 Comment

   

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