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THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PLACE

By Adrian Millàs Luque

As Alfie says “When it comes to getting girls there are 3 things that matter: the place, the place, and the place”. Yes, you got me; today I’m going to talk about the places we frequent to get the women we want.
Most of us when getting started into this world of love and attraction, were referred to discos and pubs as a good place to hang around and find beautiful women, but have we ever stopped and thought about what is this place for? Dancing, drinking, and cocky talking are activities prior to sex, there is no wonder then that everybody in a disco is there seeking sex or a sexual fun time, whether it is to be seen by the opposite sex and feel attractive, or to find a partner to end the night with. There is a wide range of degrees.
The thing is that most of us are committed to become better at picking up girls (or women, depending on your age), right? Well, here is the deal: you are not going to get any better on picking up girls at a disco. Why? Because a disco is a place where there is already a sexual atmosphere. You don’t have to do anything at all to create it, and therefore, just approaching, talking, dancing, being a bit funny and having a bit of basic know-how to treat a girl, speeds up your chances of having an affair that night you went out. Anybody can get whatever they are looking for in a disco -speaking in sexual terms-, and if they don’t is because they are so focused on the outcome of their actions, and so self-centered, that they are missing half of the action by not looking on how the opposite sex responds to them. Or on the other hand, being so focused on the opposite sex that they don’t even realize of how they are acting.
Discos are good places to start picking up women (and to have a fun time whenever). You get there, and all your feelings are like crazy, the music is so loud, the girls are so, so sexy, everything seems so magical that you ask to yourself ‘why the f*** didn’t I come before? This is the answer to what I’ve been looking for!’
The thing is that after that point you need to evolve. You had been in your world of sexual inactivity ever since, then you got into a disco and it seemed like paradise. After that bit of shaking of your sexual world, you need to put your feet on the ground, and be real. Discos are places far from reality, places to have fun, and really recommendable to go (I love them), but if you want to really improve, and not only give a placebo to your ego because you went to a hotel with the Swedish girl you met in the VIP area, you need to explore further from that.
The places to go are: streets, beaches, coffee shops, libraries, college, work, your gym or health club, public transport, and many more. There you will find real interactions, where it is up to you to create that halo of magic and sex with women, and you must rely on the tools you have developed so far to succeed, or crash against the wall. That’s how it is guys! There is no way, but the hard way! Don’t be pussies thinking that you are real men if going out to discos and pubs you get chicks that went out there for the same! Common be more intelligent than that. If women made you believe they are out in the clubs for ‘having fun with their friends’ they messed up your brains.
Ask yourself these questions: are you able to start a conversation with any person in the bus? If not, work on it! Are you able to calibrate what is interesting (by interesting I mean creative, mysterious, sexual, fun) to talk about with the person you have right in front of you just in some seconds? If not, work on it! Are you able to make this person feel comfortable with you up to the point of creating a tie in some minutes so that this person wants to keep in touch with you in the future? If not, work on it! Are you able to keep that sensation on that person until you meet again? If not, work on it! That’s the kind of critical thinking that leads you to success. This is a golden rule to always think about: no shortcuts, no lies to yourself, be real, find your way, and work on it.
Remember then if you are in the good place to find what you are looking for, which level you are at, and which your next level is.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes: ‘Train hard, and expect success’ (Tom Venuto).
Until next time,
‘Work on it’.

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April 29, 2011 Posted by | Inner Game | 1 Comment

Learn to say ‘no’

By Adrian Millàs Luque from BCNLair

 


 

There is something I want to talk about today. It is a pain in the ass of every man at some point in their lives, and actually, when I mention that pain, the face (or faces) of some girl(s) are going to come through your mind. This pain is the kind of girl that you are really not interested in, but just because she shows some special interest in you, you feel kind of attracted to give her your time and attention. Seriously, what are we men thinking about when we waste our time with these kind of women?
I had a long experience in the past with this, and so I want to expose the stone that made me fall again and again along the way: not being brave enough to accept that I had to keep looking around for that special woman I liked, and be lonely in the making, and take advantage of the time that I have for myself. Luckily enough, I met a girl who was the last drop that filled up my glass full of shit. Really, this girl would be an average beautiful girl, and she was boring to death, which took away all the attraction she could ever have. My mind-set on that girl was the same as with other girls like her in the past: I can practice with her to become a better man. Hang around with her, have some kind of fun, and make love.
One day after some weeks after meeting her, I said to myself: hey, what do you want from this girl? The answer was a silence in my mind, followed by a thought. I was simply trying to avoid seeing the truth. I only had one girl that I really liked in my life – because she is so sweet and sexy, and we have crazy times doing all sorts of things together – and as I felt that I needed more great women like her around me, I tried to keep in touch unconditionally with the other women I was kind of flirting with.
Sometimes it is easy to have a daily life full of beautiful acquaintances, but sometimes is simply not that easy, mostly because the places that you frequent do not have the vibe that attract those women you desire. You must use this time in which a woman you could really like is not in your life to do other useful things. Do not get obsessed about women, you must not haunt women. Love is attraction, and attraction is like a magnet, both part of the magnet come together, not one of them chasing the other.
In the event that you give your time to a woman who does not really attract you (and here is the big deal of this essay buddies), you do not let attraction appear, and so forth you are going to suck at doing anything with her. If you are not attracted, you are not going to use your sharpest humor. If you do not really desire that woman, then move on, and keep looking around you. If you look to her eyes and yours stay steady in hers for a considerable amount of time, if you don’t find her cheeks cute when she smiles, if you don’t melt with her laugh and sweet way of being, then simply she is not your kind of woman, and therefore, you must forget flirting with her and losing your time and her time.
It is kind of reciprocal, the fact that you are not really attracted to her and that she is kind of making you waste your time. Buddies its time for you to notice that women see through you (like your moms do, so to speak), think about it: would you be interested to have a romance or even a one-night stand with a really hot and sweet girl who does not really like you? If you have some kind of moral and self-esteem, then the answer is ‘no’.
I only flirt with women that show passion for life and happiness. I only kiss women that I like. I only make love to those that show me that we share something especial. And all of that I do, because it must not be in another way. Attraction is built on honesty about your feelings and wishes. You must start being honest with what you really want right now. Dream big about the kind of women that you want around you. Visualize these harmonious and loving tender feminine figures as you close your eyes, feel them in your head, feel your heart beat rhythm when you approach one of them, breathe deeply, and say the very first thing that comes out of your lips. Let the power of attraction be unleashed.

 

February 25, 2011 Posted by | Attraction, Flirting | , , , | 4 Comments

   

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