The approach Mind set
My mindset when I approach a woman is that women want to fuck me as much as I want to fuck them. This puts things in a level playing field from the get-go. I think this is an important part of my game because it let’s me operate from a position where I don’t need the woman anymore than she needs me. Therefore it is a situation where I go and find out what the woman is about and I can maneuver without any pressure. Also I assume the close from the beginning so my interaction rises up from this assumption. I communicate as if we’re already decided we’re going to get together.
My default state is comfort and naturality. I approach women knowing that it’s the natural thing to do and it creates a state of comfort and ease that women follow. This helps in making women want to engage me in conversation a lot more and it neutralizes the “stranger” effect. I’d say that my game is influenced a lot by this emphasis on comfort and ease because it pays off a lot in the long run.
When I approach I do it directly and to the point. The women I speak to know from minute zero that I’m not there to make a new friend. I’m there because I find them attractive and I want to get to know them better. My approach is always relaxed and confident. I open with “I like you” or any other variation of that. The most important thing about my approach is my movement and my eye contact. When I approach my body language is relaxed and eye contact is deep and personal. Again, all of the signs that I’m a stranger are kept at bay. Also, and this is very important, I make sure that I’ve got her undivided attention. I do this by being deliberate and by slowing down. This is very important because women are used to getting hit on by guys who are quivering in their boots or they’re used to guys not approaching at all. By doing this I’m showing her that I’m the real deal, knight in shining armour. Mind you at this moment not even 2 minutes have elapsed. It is also when I begin to lead. By slowing down, being deliberate and as calm and relaxed as possible, I start getting women to follow my lead.
My next step is that I am quiet until she says something. I let her have her time to become comfortable with me. No pressure and no rush. Patience. It usually takes less than 5 seconds for her to blush or react in any way that she’s going to react. I do this because it forces her to committ to the interaction. That’s why I don’t do a rushed approach. It has been my experience that if I don’t get women to stop 100% before I open them, then it is not as effective. By controlling the tempo of the interaction I assume the lead. It puts me in charge. Therefore women can play out any kind of submissive fantasy they may have and it establishes me as the dominant side of the interaction. So you see, the whole stranger thing goes out the window and the interaction then takes on a completely different dynamic. All of a sudden it’s her that wants to impress me. By being comfortable and warm I make it easier for her to show me who she is.
My tone of voice throughout all of this is crisp and clear. I communicate with women that I’m meeting the same way I would talk to my brother or my friends. In this case I communicate with women as if they’re already my girlfriend. There’s no fan fare or any type of unneeded attention from my part. Friendliness yes, but not too much. This helps me create that little bubble of timelessness that I always aim towards. My tone of voice is also approval giving and not validation seeking. This is a subtle yet important distinction. When you’re approval seeking your tone tends to be comical and it inflects and adds emphasis in the wrong places. When you’re approval giving your tone is challenging and smooth. More importantly it is what her boyfriend sounds like. It doesn’t sound like fake politeness or ass kissing like many people tend to do. No I talk to her as if I already know her. What is the difference between people you know and people you don’t know? People that you know don’t tend to make such a big deal of things and this is exactly what I do.
Ok so by the first couple of seconds in the interaction I’m already establishing that we’re acquaintances, that I’m leading her and I want her to be my lover. By this time I’ve already kinoed her on the arms or the hands by means of a handshake etc.. This is done with the same warm, friendly, strong manner as the rest of my approach. I also get in her space when I’m approaching. Enough to get her attention but not too much so that I’m all up on her. Also the reason why she knows that I want her to be more than friends is because I am so at ease with her that I look her up and down and even, in some instances, grab them and give them a twirl while commenting on how good they look. This is done in a 100% confident manner. I’m in control remember.
After I approach I send out my first open ended question. Something to the effect of what’s your story or what should I know about you. By this time the women are so into me that they’re dying to show me how special they are. Sometimes, however, they get stuck in answering me so I answer my own question. This shows them how I want her to answer. Once she answers I kino her and reward her according to her effort. Like let’s say she reveals something superficial about her. I kino her gently while telling her that she needs to do better than that. If she answers and tells me something unique about her then I kino her more passionately and reward her better. After this is done I relate to whatever she says and continue the escalation. As an aside. My approach takes women closer to the personal than it does to the platonic. In other words when I approach I am so at ease and comfortable that women feel as if they know me or have known me before.
The way I connect with a woman is a combination of everything that I have written above. My open and warm personality mixed with my leading make women connect to me very quickly. My voice tone, eye contact and body language are all working towards this end as well. The relaxed pace of the interaction and the assumption of the close are also helping me achive a connection. Obviously, I get into deepr rapport when we get into to the relate and reward cycle. When we reveal ever more personal and unique things about ourselves we get in deep rapport and create a solid bond.
When I’m leading a woman and we start making out and touching each other, I start to do dirty talk. I get graphic as fuck and get the women super horny this way. I realy don’t spare any punches. I talk about how her pussy must be dripping wet and how her nipples are begging to get licked. I do this while touching them. I also do it as a whisper in her ear so that we maintain that bubble effect. I can be as graphic and raunchy as I want to be because I have taken care to lead and to make the women comfortable following my lead.
I think that leading and imposing your reality is perhaps the most important part of a seduction. Along with actually approaching women this is what seduction is all about. When I interact with women I don’t try to convince them about how attractive I am, instead I lead them to where I want them to go.
The reality I base all of my game around is one where I know that women want to fuck me as much as I want to fuck them. I don’t go into the whole thing about being the best guy out there or any of that nonsense. Eventhough I know that most guys aren’t doing what I’m doing I keep my expectations basic. I just know that I have a shot. Another thing that I know that maybe all guys don’t is that women want to be led. They want to submitt to a strong man and I do this for them. Once that I have the mental side taken care of then what I do is just impose my reality on women and lead them where I want them to go. Basically I assume the close and treat women like they’re my girlfriend.
How to impose your reality? You can guide a woman with your energy and your frame. Like I wrote above, I start leading women from the get go by being confident and deliberate upon the approach. Then I get them to make an effort by asking them a big open ended question and shutting up until she shares something unique about herself. Asking a big open ended question is important in leading because you’re letting women know that you expect more than just the normal getting to know you conversation. You expect her to make a very big commitment by sharing something extremely unique about herself. When she invests this into the interaction with you then you are seen as a person that demands the very best and you won’t accept anything less.
Other ways of leading are physical. As I said before I treat women as if they’re my girlfriend early on. This means that I am holding their hands and I’m putting my arm around them as if I were their boyfriend. Like a boyfriend I don’t touch women tentatively. I touch them as if they’re mine already. Part of imposing my reality is that it is natural for me to do. If you think you’re the shit and you are congruent with this then women will recognize it right away. Being congruent means that you put forth your reality and know that everything is natural for you in your reality. This is why naturals get laid and this is why some guys can get some threesomes going while others don’t even get a sniff. It is all about your reality. My reality is one where women have to prove to me that they’ve got what it takes to be around me.
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