The Older Player

The older Player can be just as successful as the younger Player

Those who truly understand women have taken one immutable fact to heart: Women tend to gravitate toward classy, intelligent, wise men. Now, those who scoff at the idea — the gas-pumping former high school jocks, for example — may believe a man must make up for age by implementing the classic alpha male mentality. The older they get, the cockier and more aggressive they have to become.

Well, that guy will never have as much success as the older player an irresistible man of the world who exudes social competence. Due to his experience, his attraction is undeniable; his pickup skills are finely honed. He separates himself from the rest of the pack by offering a mix of quiet sensitivity and obvious flirting prowess. The aforementioned experience is crucial; this particular Player learns a little something from every rejection and carefully files it away for later use. He observes carefully and puts forth a likable personality, one that’s infused with modesty, confidence and grace. The older Player has no real enemies and makes friends

as easy as pie because after years of conversing with such a wide variety of individuals, this guy can adapt and assimilate in seconds.

So you’re a bit older, and yet, the hotties haven’t revoked your Player license just yet. This may be encouraging, but at the same time, you have to realize that with every passing year, it can become more and more difficult to pass the qualifying exam for said license. Hence, the following list of tips is designed with your longevity in mind, and it requires you to already have a working knowledge of basic Player abilities. If not, you can refer to any one of my previous articles; you’ll need that information now more than ever. When you’re the older Player, you’re not out of the game, but the manager is just itching to make the long walk to the mound the next time you lose a batter. Remain vigilant.

Don’t do things to accentuate your age

While subtle wisdom acquired over the years is sexy, you always run the risk of embarrassing yourself in unfamiliar surroundings. As much as you try to stay up-to-date, you no longer have the time to sift through Rolling Stone, reading about the latest hip music star. You may have a wardrobe indicative of a successful, accomplished individual, but it may not gel with the customary attire of certain clubs. And whatever you do, don’t believe you can instantly adapt to the latest dance moves, because that’s just a bad “fish out of water” experience waiting to happen and you’ll instantly reveal yourself as the older Player.

The key is to keep that alluring experience under wraps, and above all else, resist the urge to magically shave 20 years off your age by pretending you know exactly what every new catchphrase means. Sadly, there’s a fine line

to walk between the following two men — the confident, experienced man with social graces galore, and the creepy old guy who skulks in the corner, examining the ladies while gulping a Bud. You can’t , and shouldn’t, lie about who you are, because it’s who you are that has her interested in the first place! If she wanted someone who acted like a 22-year-old, she’d be with a 22-year-old.

Also, it’s probably best to avoid the girls who are too much younger; the younger the girl, the older you appear. This may not matter a whit to you, but she’s likely to notice the stares you two receive when out in public, and that’s just going to act as a continual reminder that she’s with the older Player. Avoid this situation at all costs; there’s no solution.

Don’t mislead her to think of you as a mentor

You’ve worked hard to advance through life, and you’ve gone through major life changes and experiences that your young lady friend hasn’t yet encountered. As the older Player, this gives you an edge, as I’m trying to prove with this article, but that doesn’t mean you should accidentally slide into a mentor-student

relationship. It can be difficult to keep your mouth shut when she’s going on about a subject she’s barely familiar with — “Hey, how come everyone complains about work? It’s so easy working at the Gap during the summer break!” — but it’s best to swallow your words. First of all, too much clarifying can lead to lecturing, and that results in one of two possible situations: She just gets annoyed and leaves, or she begins to ask you important life questions and suddenly won’t make a decision without your opinion. The first situation is obviously a big negative, and the second leads to long-running problems that only increase with time. Before long, you’re nothing more than a “life professor” and your relationship has mysteriously graduated to something far more serious.

That last word simply isn’t part of any Player’s repertoire, regardless of age. Don’t let her simply assume that someone over the age of 35 is automatically looking for a wife.

Avoid pickup places

This works as an important extension to the first tip, because of all the locations that would accentuate your age and reveal you’re the older Player in record time, typical pickup places are at the top of the list. It’s often impossible to establish yourself as an accomplished Player when the pounding music is giving you a headache, the amateur flirting and general behavior is painful, and worst of all, the women are giving you sidelong glances as if to say, “Are you sure you’re in the right place?” Just because you’re aware of the hottest nightspots in town, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should pay a visit; there are other ways to pick up women

and other places to bring them after securing a date. In fact, once you’ve reached that enviable second stage, you can use this opportunity to reinforce the attractiveness of your experience. You don’t want to come across as pompous and stuffy, of course, but an afternoon at the museum will open her eyes and give you a chance to impress. And this doesn’t mean you have to avoid bars and clubs altogether. For example, if you travel a lot, the hotel lobby bar is often a good place to socialize with individuals of similar age and interests.

Embrace what comes with age

There are more than a few negative things that come with age, but I’m not about to reel off a depressing list loaded with items that would only make you self-conscious. Instead, it’s always best to focus on the positives, and as I said before, you must always embrace yourself. Oh, just pass on the numerous jokes and pay attention. In this world that deifies youth and beauty, you can exemplify distinguished capability by using your advanced age to complement those wings of gray. Experience is a no-brainer, but other things come with age, including greater emotional and financial stability, confidence, wisdom, and of course, augmented bedroom skills. As callous as it may sound, sex is just like anything else — the more you do it, the better you get. In fact, if you took a poll of younger women asking them what would be the most attractive feature of an older man, this would be No. 1, just in front of financial stability. All women gravitate toward guys with intimate knowledge of the boudoir who just so happen to have a little extra cash; both traits make age a whole lot less significant. In fact, it may not even be relevant anymore.

Now, you may not be able to rip through a night that involves six or seven go-‘rounds if you’re the older player

but that doesn’t mean you can’t make her scale new heights of pleasure. And the next day, you treat her to a quiet lunch at a café only you know about followed by a surprise gift from Swarovski. Impressive, no?

The Player is always a gentleman

The argument rages as to which sort of man gets the most attention from women: the loud, cocky, sports lover who wears bad suits and gold chains, or the quieter, well-dressed sophisticate who carries an impressive portfolio. While each may attract a certain type of woman, the older player is, above all else, the quintessential gentleman

He is charming, courteous, gallant, and sensitive yet confident. If you’ve never been one for etiquette and basic manners, this tip may be out of your reach, but if that’s the case, a distinguished persona may be unreachable as well. There is no way on earth the classic Type-A never-grew-out-of-the-frat individual could ever be described as “distinguished.” Therefore, you will break out the simple yet meaningful arsenal of polite actions; you will hold open doors and pull out chairs, you will help her into her coat, you will walk closest to the street when strolling down the sidewalk, and you will let her start conversations. None of this is that difficult to do, and there’s no need to smother her with your high-class behavior. No, just be a gentleman.

age is a matter of mind

The older Player is often more capable than any other pickup artist on the market, primarily because hewas that very same pickup artist, only now they have years of experience under their belts. The new saying in sports is this: “40 is the new 30,” which is a testament to the long-running careers of various athletes. Well, if they can remain competitive in the professional world of sports, you can certainly remain competitive in the world of dating and general scoring.

You have restrictions and limitations you didn’t have when you were 20, but you also have an unparalleled repertoire and a particular level of attraction that can easily supercede that of an amateur. Essentially, you merely have to maintain a sense of self while ushering her into a world she has only glimpsed in passing. Remember: She’s interested in you because you’re different from the typical, youthful rabble she usually hangs around with. So, if you’re the older Player, don’t reject that, embrace it.

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