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Habits Of Successful Players

I say this at the risk of sounding like a complete tool, but I say it without hesitation and with full haste: There are guys out there who just have the right instincts when it comes to women;, Successful players embody those gifts. Well-suited for picking up women in a variety of situations, these guys have the habits of successful Players and play their games successfully without much trouble. This is irregardless of looks, wealth, popularity, and any other supporting qualities that might get a man laid, and they are popular misconceptions of what women look for in a man (although they are decent fringe benefits for any Player to offer)

Similar to the aptly titled book that took the self-help community by storm, the habits of highly effective Players are worth divulging to all guys as common knowledge. Here are a few habits of successful Players to help you succeed in any seduction scenario.

Visualize an end

Right from the get-go, one of the most important habits of successful Players is to visualize the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. “Getting lucky” jokes aside, thinking about the ideal outcome when approaching a woman will prove crucial to how you get from simply thinking about making the pickup to actually having her in your arms (in bed). When you can visualize your result, you can formulate your strategy. Think of it as akin to a business plan — you need to assess your strategy, anticipate the challenge and picture how it’s all going to turn out, because once you make that initial contact, it’s game time and there’s no turning back. Visualize your end result and you can cater your approach from there.

Recover from a rejection

Sometimes making that pickup is simply just out of your reach, no matter how hard you try. There are going to be those women who just won’t buy into your type of personality (among other things), so don’t get frustrated when she refuses to give you the time of day. I’ve seen all too often — guys just can’t seem to get over a rejection; anger and depression are not far behind, and their game becomes damaged goods, leaving a bitter taste in their mouth. And that’s not even the worst part — wallowing in their own grief seems to be inescapable yet so hugely preventable.

Don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur of what could have been; keep continually picking yourself up and not wallowing about the past. Self-pity is like your own personal kryptonite, and women can sense an emotionally troubled man a mile away. Think about the positives of not being with the rejecter and compliment the good qualities you know you embody; some lucky girl is going to like you for who you are, so keep your spirits up and try again. Dealing with rejection is a great life skill and one of the habits of successful Players.

Good Players remember information

While you may (or may not) have been the best student there was one tool you couldn’t have graduated without — the power of memorization. And just like a difficult exam, this is one of the habits of successful Players that’s paramount to a victorious score.

Communication is another key element when approaching and flirting with women and one that can pretty much determine whether you’re going home a lonely or a happy man. When you engage in conversation, you are creating a profile of their likes, interests, personality, quirks, and everything else that is crucial to keeping her interested in you. That’s why it’s your job to be asking the questions and responding to hers appropriately so you can strike that ever-important chemistry. Just as important, though, is remembering all of her answers. Did she happen to mention she’s a fan of Japanese food? Take her out for sushi. Does she enjoy the light sounds of an acoustic guitar? Take her to an intimate concert by one of her favorite artists. Pay attention to what she says and always keep it handy for when you’ll need it next. Players

are refined, suave and gentle creatures, so don’t be the elephant that always forgets.

Keep your expectations realistic

Here’s some food for thought: We are a generation of men raised to always strive for the top, so do your best and reach as far as you can go on the ladder of life. This has been engrained in our heads since day one, and this mantra permeates all aspects of life — school, work, home, and yes, even when picking up women. The problem here is that sometimes we aim too high. I’ve seen countless examples of guys who think they can score the hottest girl at the party, and almost as fast as they go out on a limb, they fall flat on their faces.

You’ve got to keep your expectations realistic. Have you made it a habit to flirt with the tallest, most voluptuous vixen you see every time you go out, only to get shot down? And even worse, do you keep making the same gaff over and over? Big mistake. You’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. Go for the type of women you know you can realistically get. Also, broaden your horizons, go out on a limb and meet women you would otherwise ignore; you’d be surprised at the variety and quality that exists, and your expectations will align themselves appropriately. No matter what kind of Player you are, you can always find the right woman.

The Player is always a gentleman

You might want to put on your glasses for this one, not because the advice I’m going to give will be some new epiphany on etiquette, but rather because the gentleman is a dying breed; true gentlemen are few and far between, and you’ll have to look hard to see one in action. Of course, why watch when you can be one yourself? players

are gentlemen, and it’s a 24/7 job.
Gentlemanly behavior isn’t hard to espouse. Think about the most civilized gentleman you’ve seen (Jimmy Stewart anyone?), and try and take it from there. Mentors are great for providing a base point, but whomever you choose, they all exhibit similar gentlemanly qualities. That means approaching your lady with a calm, mature demeanor that can handle different kinds of situations with a hand of humility, class and impression. Being a gentleman means making sure all the little things are taken care of (like holding doors open, listening to her talk and giving her compliments), as well as broader issues, such as being polite to her friends and family, and accepting of her career choices in life (well, most of them anyway). Practice your gentlemanly nature in all facets of life and you’ll find it will become clockwork behavior. This is one of the most important habits of successful Players.

The Player is always well-mannered

Connected to the previous piece of advice, being well-mannered is the means to a gentlemanly end. Good manners are conducive to impressing and wooing women

no girl wants a slob who can’t act professionally around herself and in public. Players are more refined than that; leave the offensive and annoying habits to the chumps at the next table.

So what are some good manners? Let’s look at a first-date scenario to get a good grasp of it. If you’ve got the number, made the call and are arranging a date, always plan to meet somewhere public initially, and only offer a ride if she asks for one — good manners call for giving your girl decisions and an escape clause. It proves you’re concerned about her well-being more than just what you would prefer (which means don’t assume she’ll come home with you on the first date, although it definitely can happen). When in conversation, never interrupt her, never raise your voice and always accommodate her opinion, even if you don’t fully agree. When eating, keep your mouth shut and take small portions (don’t stuff your face, that’s dating suicide). Afterwards, always ask her what she would like to do, and tell her regularly that you’re having a great time with her. Remember: She’s the focus of your efforts, so good manners start and end with you if you want to keep interested. Be honest and polite, and never try too hard — let the manners flow naturally. These habits of successful Players should be common sense by now.

make it a habit

Habits are something that people can do without even thinking; it’s an instinctive behavior that can be done without conscious thought. When you’re a Player who’s exhibiting good habits, all the aforementioned tips come instinctively and enhance your game. When these things come naturally, you’re exuding a confidence that only the best of Players can do, and picking up women becomes just that much easier. Have faith, practice your skills and adopting habits of successful Players will bring you great rewards.

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May 3, 2011 - Posted by | Inner Game, The Player | , , ,

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